The Monster Goddess Book Club

Monster Goddess Book Club – May

THE MONSTER GODDESS BOOK CLUB

I can’t believe its been five months already! Just think next month, we will have read six books together, and be half way through the year! This year has definitely gone very quick, and such a lot has happened!

This month, the Month of May. Lots of things happen in May, two bank holidays, Star Wars day,and of course gathering nuts. (I have a eighteen month old nephew, all I do is sing Nuts in May!) And not to mention our book club, the theme for this month was ‘give a book a second chance’ and so we chose Twilight. Next month we are reading ‘Fairy Tale with a Twist’ so we have chosen Grimms Fairy Tales. I’m reading my Wordsworth edition my brother bought me for Christmas last year becuase of the pretty cover and pretty pictures!

DSCN0164So On to the Review of Twilight! (Which does contain spoilers, but if you haven’t read the books or seen the films at this point, you deserve to know what happens)

Its been a while since I’ve read this series, and I didn’t enjoy it this time if I’m truly honest. I found the characters infuriating, the writing awful, the setting wet (pun intended) and the story overall completely ridiculous. For one thing why is Edward so obsessed with Bella and her car? My first car only had one fully functioning door, no spare tyre, a malfunctioning radio, no rear wiper blade, and struggled to get to 60mph, I think if Bella drove my car he would have an aneurysm!

Also, lets get to talking about the Bella and Jake relationship. Okay, so Bella and her friends go to the beach where Jacob rocks up looking all cute being fifteen and having long hair, like a little puppy… and Bella asks Jake why the Cullen’s don’t go to the reservation and ‘tries to flirt’ with him to get it out of him. I’m sorry but that is just completely stupid. You are asking someone about their history and their superstitions and beliefs. I work with someone who has different beliefs than me, I don’t flirt with them to get them to tell me about them, and they don’t flirt with me. We have a conversation, they tell me their stories and I listen. Bella complains in the later books that Jake is in love with her and its not fair, well I’ve got a suggestion Bella Swan, don’t string him along pretending you like him.

I don’t see why Edward and Jake and all of the boys at school even like her that much. You would someone who whispers, breathes and says things breathlessly would be related to the Mitchell Brothers from Eastenders, or at least carry an inhaler. I also think she has some serious body issues because when Edward kisses her she seems to forget to breathe or her heart stops… that is not normal, she should get checked out by a doctor, preferably with a heartbeat.

As you can probably see, I didn’t enjoy this book very much. It was just ridiculous story, even the ‘thrilling’ end part of the book wasn’t thrilling, I just kept rolling my eyes. Surely Alice would be able to see that it wasn’t her mother in the dance studio. I’ll share with you my cringey moments:

“Do you like scary stories?” he asked ominously.

“I love them,” I enthused, making an effort to smolder at him.

Hmm. I just had a mental image of her trying to be Flynn Rider.

He tilted his head slowly and touched his cool lips to mine for the second time, very carefully, parting them slightly.

And then I collapsed.

“Bella?” His voice was alarmed as he caught me and held me up.

“You…made…me…faint,” I accused him dizzily.

First of all, I think there should be a comma before dizzily?

“Do you feel sick?” he asked; he’d seen me like this before.

“No – that wasn’t the same kind of fainting at all. I don’t know what happened.” I shook my head apologetically. “I think I forgot to breathe.”

I’m sorry but WHAT?!

For three and half hours I stared at the wall, curled in a ball, rocking.

How boring.

He leaned in slowly; the beeping noise accelerated wildly before his lips even touched me. But when they did, though with the most gentle of pressure, the beeping stopped altogether.

He pulled back abruptly, his anxious expression turning to relief as the monitor reported the restarting of my heart.

THAT IS NOT NORMAL!

20150531103500

and finally Bella needs to take some penmanship lessons.

I’m going to rate this one 2 out of 5, just for the unintentional comedy.

As usual you can follow our reading habbits at our good reads accounts

The Bookie Monsters

The Book Goddess

And you can find The Bookie Monsters review here.

See you next month for the next book club meeting.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Monster Goddess Book Club – May

  1. “You would someone who whispers, breathes and says things breathlessly would be related to the Mitchell Brothers from Eastenders, or at least carry an inhaler.”

    This made me chuckle a lot!

What are your thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s